The Rant Song
by Gracie-San
Summary: A parody of "The Rant Song" from the episode "My Musical" from Scrubs. Steve rants about how he feels to Pony, with Dallas helping him a bit. Oneshot.


**I'm really bored right now. Like, really, Really, REALLY bored so I was like, I've had this thought in my head, let me try to write it. This is what basically came out.**

Soda felt all over his jacket pocket for his candy and keys. That was the third time this week, and he swore he could've grabbed them. He sighed and checked his jeans pocket and turned his head to look at Steve.

_**Soda:  
**__**Steve, I know I grabbed them!**_

Steve, already tired of this routine, said on cue:

_**Steve:  
**__**Did you have them when we left?**_

Soda nodded his head.

_**Soda:  
**__**I'm absolutely sure…**_

Pony ran up to his brother and best friend and had a big smile on his face. Whilst Steve closed his eyes and reminded himself that he loved Soda and would do anything for him. Even if that meant enduring his annoying little brother. Steve saw that mouth of his moving, and thought maybe he should actually listen this time.

_**Pony:  
**__**Steve and Soda, huge news!  
**__**I got the job and I'm now working with you!  
**__**Working buddies!**_

Pony gently punched him in the stomach while Steve just stared at him with plain annoyance on his face then whipped his head around to look at Soda.

_**Steve:  
**__**Well at least, you're not nearly as bad as him  
**__**Pony, do you know how much you annoy me?**_

Pony squeezed his fingers to show a tiny amount, but Steve grabbed his fingers to extend the length.

_**Steve:  
**__**The answer is a lot  
**__**Should I list the reasons why?  
**__**Well, I don't see why not**_

Steve took a deep breath, and started to rant.

_**Steve:  
**__**It's your hair, your nose, your chinless face  
**__**You always need a hug  
**__**Not to mention all the stupid, nerdy books you seem to love  
**__**That you think I am your friend just continues to perplex  
**__**And, oh my God, stop asking me your weird questions about sex!**_

Pony's face lit up, which meant he had another question. Steve groaned inwardly for even reminding him, while Soda yelled at Steve, "He's asking you about sex?!"

_**Pony:  
**__**Oh, by the way, are you supposed to pass gas when you like reach climax or something? Cause that's what I read.**_

"Pony, you are too young to have sex!" Soda yelled. And then after a minute, he looked at him weirdly and added, "What kind of a question is that?" Steve took another sharp intake and continued.

_**Steve:  
**__**See now, Pony, that's the thing you do that drives me up a tree  
**__**'Cause no matter how I yell at you, you never let me be!  
**__**So I'm stuck with all your whining, your wish to be my clone  
**__**It makes me suicidal and, oh, I am not alone  
**__**Oh, no, I am not alone**_

Dallas was walking up to us and Steve asked him a question. "Dallas, you dislike Ponyboy. Don't you?"

"A little," Dallas admitted while Pony looked hurt. "What? I said, a little! At least, I don't wanna fuckin' kill you!" Pony looked at him with an even more hurt expression.

"Just ignore him. Anyways, would you please explain how you came to those feelings?" Steve asked.

"Sure." Dallas cleared his throat.

_**Dallas:  
**__**It all started when he hit me with a door  
**__**There was a hatred I had never felt before  
**__**So now I'll make him pay, on one of these summer days  
**__**To make sure that he doesn't mess… with me… any…more...**_

"Ok, you do realize that that is just a really stupid reason to hate me? I mean, seriously!" Pony yelled. Soda just looked on wishing he had popcorn. This was actually quite interesting. Although, he would have to scold Steve for being so mean to Pony, but that could wait.

_**Steve:  
**__**So now that is why I call you names like Loser, Dork, and Nerd  
**__**Like Little Princess, a bitch, and Annoying-Little-Turd  
**__**See, regardless of the names I pick, my feelings are quite clear  
**__**You're a pain in every day of every month of every year!**_

Soda sighed, and stuck his hand to reach for his key, but then remembered that he still needed help finding them.

_**Soda:  
**__**Steve, you really gotta help me, 'cause I really am distressed!  
**__**Can't we run back to the store and search through the DX?**_

_**Steve:  
**__**Soda, if you want some kind of favor, really any kind of favor  
**__**Please just get me peace and quiet from your God-forsaken brother!**_

_**Pony:  
**__**I think what our working-buddy is trying to say...**_

Soda put up his hand to stop Pony from talking.

_**Soda:  
**__**I'm really sorry about this Pony, but I have to send you to your room!**_

Pony's mouth dropped and he put his hands up as if to say, "What?! I didn't do anything wrong!", but he turned around anyways and walked up the front porch to head onto the house. Soda looked at his best friend, and Steve smiled.

_**Steve:  
**__**Cool, man. We'll go back to the DX this afternoon.**_

**Did you guys like it? Yeah, I know the rhythm and the rhyming is off, but I had to edit a lot of stuff to kinda make it seem kinda like The Outsiders. Was it funny or not? Tell me by R&R.**


End file.
